Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has turned to Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan for advice on how to survive an attempted coup, The Kibbitzer has learned.
In a televised statement on Thursday night, following his indictment on bribery and fraud charges, Netanyahu accused the country’s judicial and police authorities of mounting an “attempted coup” against him.
“What I did was kill as many as I could and arrest the others,” Erdogan says in a transcript of the telephone call with Netanyahu which is in the possession of The Kibbitzer. Erdogan himself survived an attempted coup in 2016.
“Not sure I can do that,” Netanyahu says.
“Why not? Use the guys from the Mavi Marmara. They’re experienced at killing.”
“You can’t suggest something less … uh … bloody?”
“Well, you can take over the papers and arrest all the journalists. It worked for me.”
“Yes, I like that.”
“And of course you have to purge everyone – politicians, lawyers, teachers.”
“Also sounds good. Can I include my wife?”
The Kibbitzer wishes to assure its readers that it will resolutely oppose any attempt to force it into the Netanyahu stable, alongside Yisrael Hayom, Walla and Noni Mozes.