Would You Like Fries With Your Holocaust Hypocrisy?

JERUSALEM – A Jerusalem hamburger restaurant is making a killing with its new line of Auschwitzburgers, The Kibbitzer’s food critic reports.

The burgers were released this week to coincide with the events being hosted in the city to mark the 75th anniversary of the Nazi death camp’s liberation.

The Auschwitzburger selection consists of four new combos: the Premium Putin with Lies, the BBQ Bibi (only available until March 2), the Filet-O-Pence and the Prince Charles Quarter Pounder with Bacon (optional).

The Premium Putin may also be available as a Happy Meal with Na’ama Nuggets, though its price has yet to be determined.

The menu describes the BBQ Bibi as “a seasonal favorite … a juicy patty of 100% self-interest, wrapped in a fresh indictment bun and smothered in a tangy smug sauce.”

However, an informal survey of diners indicated that the Premium Putin was the crowd favorite.

“It’s a liberating new take on classic historical revisionism, layered with a slice of creamy, fresh hypocrisy,” one satisfied customer said.

“Best crispy fried lies I’ve ever tasted,” said another, licking her lips.

When Christmas Met Hanukkah in Sweden

I spent Christmas in Ramshyttan, a tiny Swedish village in the middle of dense birch woods and semi-iced-over lakes. Despite the absence of snow – almost unheard of at this time of year, according to the locals – it was the ideal location for a misty and mystical Yuletide (Christmas in Swedish is Jul), complete with 18th century hunting lodge and a wood-fired sauna on the edge of the lake.

What I didn’t expect to find there was any hint of Hanukkah, a Jewish holiday roughly congruent with Christmas but so remote from the frosty and peaceful forests of Sweden as to be its polar opposite. Yet there it was: an enormous old painting in the house we were occupying featuring Judith (or Yehudit), a prominent member of the Maccabee clan, and the ancient – possibly mythical – bloodletting at the heart of the modern holiday.

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