Categories
Kvetch

The Dark Side of Israel’s Vaccination Miracle

I had my second Covid vaccination yesterday. Within the next week or so, I should achieve above 90% percent immunity. That doesn’t mean that I won’t catch the virus or transmit it, according to my understanding. It simply means that I will be spared the symptoms. That in itself is a huge relief.

While thankful to have come this far so quickly – hardly anyone I know outside Israel has received the vaccine – my satisfaction is tempered by the awareness that my good fortune is the result of something I have lamented and criticized for my entire adult life.

Israel’s uncanny stranglehold on sentiment in the West has again enabled it to profit over most other countries, without any real justification and despite the human rights abuses that should – and probably would, in the case of virtually any other country – condemn it to international pariahdom.

Categories
Kvetch

Ode to Phil Spector

So Phil Spector is dead, then,
crazy fuck, musical magician,
engineer of walls
that Trump could never build.
To know him was to love him,
before he became an unhinged melody.
He was the Wagner of electric excess, the
little corporal of the recording studio.
Inducing hard-ons in teen jeans
and nipples standing to attention under polyester blouses.
But stoned and sodden,
flailing,
demented,
he played god one time too many.
Farewell, then, spectral Phil.
For a while all your stars were shining bright
and then you killed us.

Roy Isacowitz (with thanks to EJ Gordin, 12 ½)

Categories
Satire

Jews Protest Ouster of Protocols by QAnon

A legendary Jewish organization broke its 120-year silence today to criticize the QAnon conspiracy theory, reportedly the intellectual and spiritual home of the patriots who ransacked the US Capitol last week.

“We have long believed that silence is the best policy, but the grandiose and totally unjustified claims of the QAnon faithful have left us with no option but to go public,” the Elders of Zion said in a press release sent to major news outlets in the US, Russia and Moldova.

Categories
Satire

From Our Archives: Putsch Leader Says He Won’t Stop

As a public service, The Kibbitzer is publishing an old but pertinent article from its archives.

April 17, 1924 (LANDSBERG PRISON, BAVARIA) – This baroque fortress of a prison some 40 miles south-west of Munich today houses Herr Adolf Hitler, the unlikely leader of the so-called “beerhall putsch” last November during which 20 people were killed.

Largely unknown before the putsch, Herr Hitler is now regarded by many on the right as the man who, once he completes his prison term, will save Germany from the Weimar swamp and the treasonous media and elites who populate it.

In this exclusive interview from within the forbidding walls of the prison, a relaxed and confident Herr Hitler told The Kibbitzer – the only news outlet to talk to him since his arrest – what prompted him to lead some 2,000 of his followers into the street in an attempt to overthrow the government.