Bibivirus Claims New Victim; Gantz on Life-Support

Israel is confronted by two lethal viruses: the coronavirus pandemic and an infectious leader who, like the corona variety, needs his influence to be replicated in living organisms for him to survive in power. The social distancing that is currently in force has done nothing to prevent the spread of the second virus.

The latest organism to provide healthy cells for the consumption of the bibivirus is Benny Gantz, who has spent the past year assuring whoever would listen that he was totally, 100 percent dedicated to keeping his distance from it.

So persuasive was Gantz in persuading the nation that he would not only keep his distance from the virus but work actively to eliminate it, that hundreds of thousands of them came to regard him as a vaccination of sorts. For many, including some of my family and close friends, the only way to avoid the virus was by getting a shot of benny.

Some of them got it three times – just to be sure. But the vaccine, alas, turned out to be a dud. It takes time, research, experimentation, animal trials and so on to develop a real vaccine; you can’t just take any old general, dress him up in a suit and expect him to be effective. We should have known from past experience that CoS vaccines simply don’t work.

Gantz protests that didn’t go anywhere near the virus; that he must have caught it over the telephone. But the tests don’t lie. He didn’t take the threat seriously enough; neglected to wear a mask and wash his hands. Now he is on the list of bibivirus victims – condition critical.

When, and if, he is taken off the respirator, Gantz is expected to argue that he gambled with his life for the sake of the nation – that the antibodies he is developing will prevent the bibivirus from infecting the rest of us. That unity is what is required now, not distance.

Expert opinion does not support the unity theory, which many say is a conspiracy theory disseminated on social media by people already suffering from the bibivirus. It is expected that Gantz, too, will begin displaying the symptoms of the virus, which include chronic mendacity, megalomania and a form of narcissism that can be fatal in large doses.