Some of the world’s most prominent thieves have signed a petition calling on the president of Israel to pardon disgraced former prime minister Ehud Olmert and save him from ignominy, The Kibbitzer has learned
The petition was posted on the change.org website last night, only hours after Israel’s Supreme Court sentenced Olmert to 18 months imprisonment on a bribery charge.
“What is the point in serving the public if we can’t take tips?” the petition asks. “Even waiters get a minimum of 20%.”
Submitted by Spiro Agnew, the petition was signed by Mobutu Sese Seko, Mohamed Suharto, Ferdinand Marcos, Sani Abacha, Jean-Claude Duvalier, Alberto Fujimori and others.
“Let’s face it, Olmert was an amateur,” Marcos told The Kibbitzer. “I mean, taking brown envelopes when you can go and plunder the treasury does not exactly show ambition.”
“But he’s one of us and the only way he’ll learn is by playing with the big boys.”
“I appreciate this vote of confidence in me by my peers,” Olmert said in response to the petition, “and I hope I will still have the opportunity to fulfill their expectations of me.”