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Israeli government mulls Mossad role for Penn

In what could be one of the most dramatic developments since the establishment of the state, the government is considering disbanding the Mossad and hiring Sean Penn to catch the bad guys in its place, The Kibbitzer has learned.

Penn, an actor, journalist, adventurer and world-renowned ego, recently proved his unparalleled sleuthing abilities when he tracked down and interviewed Mexican narcotics smuggling king El Chapo.

“It’s really a question of money,” a senior government source told The Kibbitzer. “We spend billions of dollars a year hunting down the forces of darkness. If Penn can do it at even a tenth of the cost, it’s a win-win.”

“The only thing we’ll have to make sure of is that he doesn’t pour poison in anyone’s ear,” added the source, who spoke on condition of strict anonymity.

Meanwhile, the Hamas government in Gaza has emailed its Mexican counterpart offering to take the now-captured El Chapo off its hands by imprisoning him in the strip.

“It’s what any self-respecting government would do,” said Hamas spokesman Halid al-Sudeini Kawasme. “Besides which, he apparently has tunneling skills that might be useful.”

2 replies on “Israeli government mulls Mossad role for Penn”

Hi Roy, great to hear from you this way. Keep the Kibbitzer going. Best regards from Ari, who just marked my 91st birthday…….

Hi Ari

Great to hear from you. Hope you don’t find the humor too infantile at your lofty age. Mazaltov on your 91st. Cheers, Roy

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