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Rivals allege Herzog arranged his own police investigation

In a shocking move this afternoon, senior Labor Party figures accused party chairman Isaac Herzog of fabricating a police investigation into his affairs in order to “gain street cred.”

Herzog, leader of the opposition, was questioned under caution by the police this week over suspicions that he received illegal election campaign donations.

“He’s too much of a pussy to do anything illegal,” former party leader Shelly Yacimovich told The Kibbitzer. “But he sees all the popular party leaders being investigated, so he also wants to be.”

“He thinks it will make him look good.”

Another former party leader, Amir Peretz, said: “A solid police investigation is worth at least four or five Knesset seats. It’s what distinguishes the men from the boys.”

“With Dery again under investigation, the only way Herzog can appear to be playing with the big boys is to get investigated too.”

“It’s a fib,” Herzog told The Kibbitzer, while playing with his toy train set. “They’re all just jealous of me because I’m being investigated and they aren’t.”