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The Kibbitzer to Edit Trump’s Inaugural Tweet

In one of his first, and most surprising moves, president-elect Donald Trump has asked The Kibbitzer to copy-edit the inaugural speech he intends tweeting in front of Congress in January.

“I don’t usually get someone to go over my speeches coz no-one can do it as well as the Donald,” Trump wrote in his tweet to The Kibbitzer. “But you Jewboys are good with words (and money – like me) and my Jew grandson is still too young to write. So it’s up to you.”

The Kibbitzer is honored by the task entrusted to it by the president-elect and will do its utmost to ensure that a memorable presidency gets off to a memorable start.

As a service to our readers, we are giving you a peek at the first two paragraphs of the historic draft sent to us by the president-elect:

“My fellow white Americans. Well, we did it! I told ya we’d do it, didn’t I? Who told ya? Trump told ya. You know, I’m kinda … what’s the word? I don’t often use it … humbled. I’m kinda humbled to be standing here before you at the beginning of the Trump presidency. The global Trump era of making America great. And I couldn’t have done it without my billions, did I tell you that I‘m really rich?, and my family – and all of you, of course. All the gun-toting, Muslim-hating, immigrant-bashing white Americans who didn’t swallow Hillary’s bull… the stuff that Hillary was trying to sell them. All of you guys.

I thank President Whatshisname for his service … don’t laugh, I’m being serious here … for his service to our nation. He did OK for a nig… for a black American president. And he was generous when we met and even let me sit in his chair. That’s a chair? Wait till you see the chair I’m bringing from Trump Towers. I’m going to make a great place out of that dump. Really, a great place. A great place.”