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Netanyahu: Subs Will House Amona Evictees

The great submarine mystery was cleared up last night when Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu explained that additional subs were needed to house the families soon to be evacuated from Amona.

“It was a humanitarian gesture in the finest Jewish tradition,” Netanyahu told The Kibbitzer in a phone conversation that is published here exclusively.

“We were already buying subs from the Germans and it occurred to me that we could buy a few more to house those brave Jewish settlers who are being evicted by the heartless Supreme Court.”

“As you know,” the premier added, “the families have been a little touchy about where they will go. The beauty of submarines as that they’re mobile, so the families can live in them wherever they want.”

The premier has been under fire in recent days over media reports that he insisted on buying more submarines than the Israeli army said it needed or wanted. It was also revealed that Netanyahu’s personal lawyer and confidant, David Shimron, is a board member of the company that represents the German submarine manufacturer in Israel.

Asked about Shimron’s role in the deal, Netanyau replied: “He is a very sensitive man and he hasn’t slept a wink since the court decided to evict those poor, innocent people. Both he and I thought that a few extra submarines would be the perfect housing solution. Jewish kop.”

The court has ruled that Amona, a settlement built on private Palestinian land in the West Bank, must be evacuated by December 25.