Netanyahu discovers subs can’t fight fires

“I didn’t know submarines couldn’t fight fires,” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said yesterday during a telephone conversation with Greek Prime Minister Alexix Tsipras, in which he thanked Greece for supplying fire-fighting aircraft to help Israel battle an ongoing spate of fires, The Kibbitzer has learned.

“I bought all those submarines because I was certain they could fight fires,” Netanyahu told his Greek counterpart. “Otherwise, what’s the point of having them?”

Israel’s third-largest city Haifa was virtually denuded of people on Thursday, as close to 100,000 were evacuated to escape out-of-control bush fires ravaging several of the city’s suburbs.

Israel’s submarine fleet, bought from a German company in a controversial deal that is now being investigated by the police, was safely docked in Haifa harbor as terrified residents fled the spreading fires.

Netanyahu explained that Israel had purchased submarines instead of fire-fighting planes because the plane manufacturers didn’t “understand how we do business here.”


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