Trump to Create Department of Alternative Truth

US President Donald Trump intends scrapping the position of presidential spokesman and establishing a Department of Alternative Truth in its place, sources in the new administration have told The Kibbitzer.

The department will be headed by current presidential spokesman Sean Spicer, who will be appointed the Secretary of Alternative Truth.

The department will be responsible for monitoring everything that happens around the world and deciding whether it is alt-right or alt-wrong.

“It’s not as much work as it sounds,” the source said. “Everything that the president says is by definition alt-right, while everything else is alt-wrong. So it shouldn’t be too difficult.”

The Kibbitzer managed to catch up with Spicer while he was battling his way through the gargantuan crowds that thronged the inauguration to get to the closest Metro station.

“It is going to be the biggest and the best government department ever. Period, “ Spicer said. “Not only in America, but in North Korea and around the globe. Period.”