Gantz Doing Well After Spine-Stiffening Surgery

Israel’s Alternate Prime Minister Benny Gantz is recovering well from the emergency back surgery he underwent on Wednesday, the Sheba Medical Center spokesman has announced.

Gantz’ spine-stiffening procedure took over five hours and involved the implant of titanium rods to create the type of backbone not normally found in politicians, the spokesman said.

First contemplated earlier this year as elective surgery, the operation was upgraded to an emergency procedure following Gantz’s cringing and sycophantic performance since he took office.

“Such spinelessness is not something a people can live with for any length of time,” said Dr. Netanel Mayersohn, the surgeon who performed the operation.

“It not only impacts life-style, but life itself. Humans can’t function adequately without any sort of backbone whatsoever.”

“I wish Benny a full recovery,” said Foreign Minister Gabi Ashkenazi. Gantz’s Blue & White Party colleague. “If it helps him get up from the carpet after Bibi has stepped all over him, I may consider having one myself.”



3 replies on “Gantz Doing Well After Spine-Stiffening Surgery”

I think you’re right. My understanding is that they originally thought of using brass from Syrian mortars left lying around in 1967, but concluded that it wouldn’t have provided the flexibility that one needs in Israeli politics. So, titanium it was. Mind you, flexibility has never been Gantz’s problem.

You should not expect sterling qualities from Israeli generals: not metal, nor mettle. No Israeli general, for at least the last 40 years, has been any good. This is because they are all promoted (beyond the rank of Major) to high rank exclusively for political reasons. They consistently screw up the battles that they wage, leaving it to the heroic lower-ranking officers, Major and below, together with the other ranks, to salvage some sort of bloody victory from strategic defeat.

The same thing, by the way, happened with the French high command before the First World War. They were all political appointees, and lousy generals.

It is a pity that the primitive and gullible Israeli electorate seems to think that the fact that some Joe gets to be a general is the slightest indication of high leadership qualities and civic virtue.

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