PM wants new speechwriter to go beyond ‘incitement’

TEL AVIV – Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is conducting a discreet search for a new speechwriter, according to sources in the Prime Minister’s Bureau.

Netanyahu is apparently dissatisfied with the inability of his incumbent speechwriter to come up with similes for the word “incitement,” the sources explained to The Kibbitzer.

“We did a Google search and discovered that he used the word “incitement” and its derivatives exactly 347 times in just three speeches last week,” one of the sources said.

“That’s unacceptable for a leader who prides himself on his ability with words.”

Aside from finding similes for “incitement,” the only other requirement for the job is a written undertaking that the new speechwriter will never – under any circumstances – use the word “occupation.”

Not everyone is disappointed with the performance of the current speechwriter however. “He has come up with tenses and conjugations of ‘incitement’ that never existed before,” said Niv Haberstein of the Hebrew Language Academy.

“It’s a pity that politicians are so insensitive to the future implications of such groundbreaking work.”