Obama undergoes untested therapy ahead of meeting with Netanyahu

WASHINGTON – US President Barack Obama is submitting himself to a radical form of psychological treatment in preparation for his meeting with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on November 9, a source in the White House has told The Kibbitzer.

Known as counter-aversion therapy, the treatment exposes the patient to a stimulus that arouses deep dislike or hatred in him while being comforted by something extremely pleasant. The conditioning is intended to cause the patient to associate the stimulus with pleasant sensations in order to overcome his aversion.

“Meeting with Netanyahu normally invokes feelings of profound despair and physical violence in the president,” the source said. “After their last meeting he punched a massive hole in a valuable 18th Century painting of George Washington.”

The new therapy, which was developed recently by Dr. George Benson of the Yale University Behavioral Sciences Department, has been tested on laboratory rats but never on humans.

 “Right now, the president is being subjected to videos of Netanyahu while being fed apple tart with cream or having his feet massaged, things like that,” the source said. “But so far the longest he’s lasted before blowing it is 12 minutes.”

Dr. Benson said that Obama’s acute aversion to Netanyahu made him the perfect subject for human testing of the therapy. “If we can get him to last an hour, we’ll head straight for FDA approval,” he added.