Bibi doping allegations stun world of sport

International sport was rocked by yet another doping allegation today, when it emerged that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu might have been on illegal substances during his bout with President Barack Obama in Washington on Monday.

The World Anti-Doping Agency said in a statement that it was looking into the allegations, which emanated from both the president’s entourage and Israeli journalists who were briefed by an unmarked and buoyant Netanyahu after the fight.

“The differences between the upbeat Netanyahu we saw in the ring yesterday and the grim, negative bruiser we know from previous encounters could not have been a coincidence,” said a senior member of Obama’s team.

“Plus, with all the Russians in Israel these days, widespread doping has to be a serious concern.”

An Israeli journalist who met with the prime minister after the bout concurred.

“The way he showered praise on his opponent and pranced around as if there had never been any bad blood over Iran – that just isn’t the Brawling Bibi we’ve come to know over the years,” the journalist said.

“Most of us hacks have been observing Netanyahu in the ring for decades and we all agree that the fighter we saw yesterday was doped.”

Meanwhile, in Washington this morning, a euphoric Obama waved his gloves in the air and yelled: “Bring him on! I’ll go the full 12 with that mutha!”