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Global mourner-in-chief to comfort Paris

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is unable to accommodate all the requests by world leaders to meet with him at the Climate Summit in Paris at the end of the month, a senior official in the prime minister’s bureau told The Kibbitzer yesterday.

“We’ve agreed to the entreaties by Hollande and Putin to meet with the PM, but Obama is going to have to make do with second-tier meetings,” the official said.

Hollande has scored a meeting by virtue of his being “a fellow combatant against terror,” the official explained, but other “label-Nazis from Europe” will go home disappointed.

He attributed Netanyahu’s popularity to the world having “finally woken up to the fact that climate change is caused by the Abbas-Baghdadi-Meshal terror axis, as Bibi has been saying for years already.”

While in Paris, the prime minister, a veteran proponent of the war against terroristic climate change, is scheduled to make an unscheduled visit to the Place de la Republique for a photo-op with the grieving population of Paris.

In Israel, meanwhile, a new public opinion survey published on Thursday revealed that 98 percent of Israelis regard Netanyahu as the world’s greatest living statesman, beating Winston Churchill into second place.