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Mistaken ‘Bethlehem Star’ Fells Pilgrims

BETHLEHEM – The Israeli Defense Forces have confirmed that the bright light seen in the sky on Wednesday night was caused by “bombing the shit out of someone,” and was not the Bethlehem Star, a military spokesman told The Kibbitzer.

The sudden appearance of a dazzling light in the eastern night sky caused the seven pilgrims in Bethlehem for Christmas to go into raptures. Palestinian Red Crescent paramedics had to sedate and pacify the agitated visitors, who took the light as a signal that the Redemption was about to begin.

The army later confirmed that the light was the result of an intensive artillery bombardment accompanied by flares.

“It was our nightly bombing the shit out of someone,” the army spokesman said. “Only a foreigner would imagine it to be something else. The locals are used to it already.”

One Palestinian victim of the confusion was local merchant Nabil Fawzi, who was about to sell an olive wood nativity figurine to one of the tourists when he saw the bright light.

“He just fell to the ground and lay there, shaking and frothing at the mouth,” Fawzi told The Kibbitzer. “The money was still in his hand. It would have been my first sale this Christmas season.”