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America Braces for Post-AIPAC Psychiatric Epidemic

WASHINGTON – Emergency services in Jewish communities throughout America are on high alert for an anticipated wave of post-AIPAC psychiatric trauma cases, The Kibbitzer has learned.

“It happens every year,” said Dr. Gill Sanders of the Cincinnati Jewish Hospital psychiatric trauma unit. “They’re euphoric for a  couple of day after the conference and then they begin to exhibit withdrawal symptoms similar to those of opiate addicts.”

AIPAC delegates returning home after the conference often present disruptive mood disorders, with differing degrees of schizophrenia and delusions of grandeur, said Prof. Gayle Kotlowski, Chief Psychiatrist at North Shore University Hospital on Long Island.

“You’ve got to understand that for three days they’re kings of the world, with presidents, prime ministers and presidential candidates fawning all over them and telling them that Israel, which is the core of their own identities, is all that really matters in the world,” Prof Kotlowski said.

“It’s like a massive shot of adrenaline straight into the ego. Then they return home to their dreary, everyday lives and the let-down is often too much to bear. It can have very serious consequences. Suicidal impulses, pronounced bipolar behavior, even catatonia – I’ve seen them all.”

The syndrome, provisionally called Zionist Delusion Withdrawal Disorder, is due to be included in the next version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, known as the bible of psychiatry, Kotlowski said.

Also slated for inclusion in the next DSM is a currently unnamed obsessive-compulsive disorder in which patients, almost exclusively American politicians, lie shamelessly about their love for Israel.

 

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