The UN General Assembly is considering cancelling its contract with Benjamin Netanyahu and not inviting him to perform at next year’s event after his insipid performance on Thursday, The Kibbitzer has learned.
“We have to call a spade a spade and acknowledge that it was a piss-poor performance,” said impresario Ban Ki-moon, the organizer of the annual General Assembly talkathon.
“After several years in which he was our star turn, Bibi barely showed up on Thursday. Where were the props – the nuclear bomb diagram, the dramatic picture or Auschwitz – or his trademark histrionics? Where was the famous curled upper lip that spawned a generation of anti-Semites?”
“I’ll be honest with you, we’ve become over-reliant on Bibi for our ratings,” Ban confessed sadly. “But we have to face facts. Every great performer slumps eventually and now it has happened to the greatest of them all.”
Ban revealed that he was considering offering Netanyahu’s General Assembly slot to Bashar Assad next year. “Assad certainly isn’t in Bibi’s league as a thespian, but I think the blood on his hands will be a big hit when he takes the podium,” Ki-moon said.
The Prime Minister’s Bureau in Jerusalem responded: “Unlike Ban, who thinks the General Assembly is a vaudeville act, Mr. Netanyahu takes his art seriously. What we saw on Thursday was another facet of his unbelievably wide repertoire – subtle, nuanced and straight to the heart. Like Stanislavski, the prime minister will continue to innovate.”