Notice to Our Readers

The management of The Kibbitzer has adopted a new policy limiting the vocabulary we use to 100 words from now on. OK?

We know that 100 is above the unofficial limit set in America First, but we think it’s OK because we sometimes have to use Jewish words. Also words like “terrorist,” “settlement” and “neutralize.”

But we will try to keep to words of no more than two syllables (e.g. “carnage”) and they will all be terrific words. We promise. Really terrific.

The management has also decided to ban the use of such literary techniques as irony, nuance and sarcasm. From now on, when we want to emphasize a point, we will simply repeat it several times, as in “beautiful, really beautiful. Just great.”

Finally, in terms of the new policy, The Kibbitzer will refrain from describing things that happened as facts. For example, instead of saying something like “it was a small crowd,” we will say, “it was a crowd that some people thought was small but others thought was the largest in the world ever since the Creation.”

Please note that all comments and talk backs will be required to follow the above rules

3 replies on “Notice to Our Readers”

Brilliant. Just brilliant. You have outdone yourself. (Hope “outdone” complies with new policy.)

Alternative facts mean six +10 = 12 in some cases, some special cases, so I don’t think this site is kosher. You liberal media are all scum, all liars, a disgrace. I’ve now lined up the BEST and I mean THE B E S T (and did you see my wife’s outfit at the inauguration? Wouldn’t you love to have her in your home at weekends? Jackie Kennedy wasn’t anywhere NEAR as elegant as Melania!! How many First Ladies have got what she has? Those legs…!! Don’t you just wanna grab her?). So the very BEST radio station in the world is now my own Voice of America. We’ve got two young men, brilliant men, brilliant! – in charge there. And it’s gonna make Voice of America great again. Thank you, thank you so much. Oh and follow me on Twitter for the real news. This kind of disgrace is disgusting. But don’t worry. We’re going to deal with all this trash, and drain the media swamp. They should be shot. And tortured. Or waterboarded. Or whatever.

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