Hack’s Party Crowd Puts Trump to Shame

The crowds that thronged the retirement party of veteran Israeli journalist Roy Isacowitz on Friday were seventeen times larger than those at the inauguration of US President Donald Trump the previous week, the Israel Police reported.

“Even assuming that some of them may have been gatecrashers and other illegal voters, there’s no doubt that it was an historic turnout,” said police spokesman Miki Mizrahi.

“According to aerial photographs in our possession, the crowd extended down Shchocken Street, along the full length of Ha’aliyah and right down Allenby into the sea,” Mizrahi said. “There are even reports of crowds in Cyprus and as far north as Latakia.”

Dan Bus Service reported that it had made 6.3 million bus trips on Friday, as compared to its normal Friday average of 4,321.

“That Jewboy hack is just a loser and among the most dishonest human beings on earth,” Trump tweeted at 3:57 on Saturday morning. “Of course he’s going to lie about the size of the crowd at his party.”

“The crowd at my inauguration was visible from space. There were even crowds on the moon, according to the crew of the international space station.”

The Prime Minister’s Bureau said in a statement that Benjamin Netanyahu had been unable to attend Isacowitz’s retirement party because he was being questioned by police at the time.