Trump Won’t Mention Independence in July 4 Speech

United States President Donald Trump will deliver a speech on July 4 that makes no mention of independence, freedom or America, The Kibbitzer has learned.

“We want to be incredibly inclusive and to take into account all the people who were involved,” White House press secretary Sean Spicer told The Kibbitzer when asked about the speech.

“So it’s important that we don’t emphasize just one country or one nation or one emotion, like freedom. The thing that occurred on July 4 is so extraordinary that it must never be forgotten.”

White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus said that the president intended to focus his Independence Day speech on his own contribution to making America great again and keeping it free from immigrants, refugees and “darkies in general.”

Priebus also confirmed that Trump’s planned Memorial Day speech will focus on the president’s four draft deferments, rather than on the men and women who fell in combat.